Fitton Centaurs gallop into action

March 32, 2026

Hamilton, Ohio – Baseball, horses and entertainment have a long history together.

The Fitton Center is pleased to introduce its long-planned entry into the booming sports entertainment market, taking its place alongside the much-celebrated Savannah Bananas and the classic Harlem Globetrotters, while elevating the game with the announcement of the Fitton Centaurs Baseball Team.

Half-man-half-horse equals half-athlete-half-entertainer when these mythological creatures jeté to actual life on stages - and at ballparks - in and around Hamilton this spring and summer.

Training through the winter has been extensive with a focus on fundamental baseball skills, choreography and dance as well as equestrian form. The team even trained alongside Golden Tappers – the resident senior dance troupe at the Fitton Center – as the four-legged performers worked hard to overcome two literal left feet to create an utterly unreal routine that will debut Wednesday as part of this week’s Celebrating Self luncheon.

“You won’t believe the kick line they’ve put together for ‘A Horse With No Name,’” said Fitton Center Executive Director Ian MacKenzie-Thurley. “It’s a dozen performers with four dozen flying legs. You’ll never see the ending coming.”

Coupling their equine lower extremities with a human torso gives the Centaurs a chance to do more than dance. They proved equally adroit with bats and gloves and registered to compete this season in the Great Lakes Summer Collegiate Baseball League against teams like the Hamilton Joes.

Their artistic ability will enhance the fans’ baseball experience, putting them in a sports-entertainment category similar to the aforementioned Savanah Bananas. Or professional wrestling.

“People will say it’s scripted and fake and, but we really hope they get accepted into the league because the athleticism is real,” MacKenzie-Thurley said. “You’ve never seen anything like a Centaur going first to third on a blooper to short right field.

“We just hope they don’t try to eat the fields that have synthetic turf. Centaurs traditionally struggle to digest micro-plastics.”

The Fitton Center for Creative Arts is located at 101 S. Monument Avenue on the Riverfront in downtown Hamilton, Ohio, and has by no means done the genetic engineering required to make actual centaurs. If you’ve read this far and have clicked the link, you probably realize this is an April Fool’s gag.

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